This is a rather hard question, and so is my answer !

The person closest to me is an alcoholic -which is explanatory,
in a way.
Because although I know all the text book answers and reasons and
behavior of an alcoholic-
I still believe they should be responsible, to a certain extent for their behaviour.


So what I would like to know most is does the alcohol really take over
your mindset -are you REALLY not aware of what you are doing to me?

 http://www.oxfam.org.au/events/close-the-gap-day///

I guess I am feeling a little bit sad -
seems I can't take a trick!

The number of times I have thought that the Global Peace Network is growing,
and that people are posting and enjoying being part of it -and then
"woosh" off they go again!

People that ask my advice, which I gladly give- and then abandon me-
people who don't make the effort to participate just every now and then,
people like this actually hurt me.

People that "wally" on about the most inconsiquental of topics on days
that are momentous for some, those I cannot understand?

People that take from my ideas and then thinly disguise them and post them
up in other pods,that actually hurts me too.

I love Gaia, I love my friends, yet I cannot help but wonder if they are real
and true, sometimes?
I shouldn't have days when I feel hurt and shunned, when all I have in
my heart is for the good of mankind and the better-ment thereof.

But only here, could I share these deepest thoughts, only here can I really
say what I think and feel.

So -I shall just have to say, bless you everyone!

I would be White.

I came from my mother's womb, from an illicit union and was
rejected at birth.
I have no roots, no family tree -but hey -I'm still me!
I am still a part of this wondrous Universe of ours and of our
beginning, and seek to find my other "particles" -as we all do!

Perhaps strangely -it is my three daughters who are my mentor's.
I doubt if they would realise this, but when I think about it -it is the truth.
I admire them in their adulthood so much and am so very proud of them
and all they have achieved.

Well -I guess it's rather sad to say -lol-
but mine was "I'm Nobody's Child" !!

Just seemed to sum it all up for me when I found out I was adopted!

Seeing the inspirations of other's has triggered something inside me,
that I thought was lost.
My own dreams and aspirations !

Due to living with extreme negativity and no support for my goals,
I have been letting them wither.

Today, I have thought, why should I ?

I want to be in touch with my own self again -not just as an activist,
who was almost "shot down" -
but also as the musical, song writing, poetry writing, artistic
person that I really am.

So what if my painting's are unconventional, so what if my words
hit a nerve, so what if I am not believed in to go any further with
my talents and loves?

I shouldn't let that stop me and become what I have,
just to fit in with family, friends and society,should I?
To be conventional, when I am not, to be ordinary, when
I am not?

And I should again try to use my social skills to help other's-
not be told I can't, just because I don't have a "bit of paper"
to go with my extreme life skills.

I have let myself be put down and sort of "de-classified"-
just to keep the peace with other's.
Yet- for me, there is no piece of mind, unless I can be me!

About the animonity of the internet, and what lurks behind that.
About what is the truth of the people we befriend here-
are they really who/what they say they are?
About why one minute you can be supported and the next forgotten.
About what to do when in some cases you can read between the lines
and yet cannot prove anything?
About why people imitate or copy others instead of supporting them.
About how it is just as competitive here as it is in real life.
About if we really, really would like each other face to face.
About how you can be made to feel lonely and unwanted at times,
yet supported at other's?
About if anyone really does care??

By being there for them-not just when it suits ou, but when THEY need you.
By just listening and offering soft words of comfort, or just letting them
talk, or cry.
By touch, even a gentle touch on the hand , the arm , theshoulders, can be just
as comforting as a hug.
But most of all bybeing understanding and loving.